Елтън Джон: Загубих зрението си и не мога да видя новия си мюзикъл – haroonabadvital.com
-Santa Claus, I want you to bring love, peace and equality to all people on Earth!
“You smoke weed, don’t you, kid?”
Good morning and happy shopping!
Three couples—married for 30 years, married for 5 years, and newlyweds—want to become members of the church. The priest tells them:
-To become a member of the church, you have to go two weeks without having sex. This way we will know that your faith is stronger than your animal instincts.
Two weeks later, the three couples come and the priest interrogates them. Old couple:
– There was no problem.
He asks people who have been married for 5 years:
– Well, the first week was good, but in the second week my wife and I slept separately so we wouldn’t be tempted.
He also asks the newlyweds, and the man answers:
– Well, we couldn’t hold out for two weeks?
– Have you given in to temptation?
– Yes, a few days ago, my wife was trying to reach a can of corn on the top shelf, dropped it and bent down to pick it up. When I saw her and…I couldn’t help myself.
– Sorry to hear that, son. Unfortunately, he is no longer welcome in the church.
– This is a curse, but we are no longer welcome at Bella’s either.
They perform Primilac at school:
-But please?!
– What did you do?!
-Why twelve years?!
In court, a question for the witness:
– How did you guess that the men in the warehouse were robbers?
-At first I thought they were workers. But when I saw how fast it loaded, I had my doubts.
A man enters a pharmacy and whispers something in the pharmacist’s ear.
Pharmacist (in a loud voice that can be heard in the pharmacy):
– Any protective equipment?! This is a pharmacy if not the Ministry of Defense.
